Yes like every other parent on the planet, I too struggle with my daily triggers. Triggers are those situations or actions that really tick me off and drive me up the wall. Thankfully I am learning everyday new ways to bust those triggers and live a calmer life with my family. In this post I will share some of the work-around solutions I used, and have worked out for my family and me wonderfully;
1. Be Conscious; this is the simplest way. I get triggered every-time my daughter cries, it just provokes me. Being conscious that this triggers me enabled me to dig deep into the reasons behind it and find out that it comes from childhood baggage that I was carrying around and projecting on my own kids. This was enlightening and empowering in a sense that it supported me in making different choices that were more in line with my values towards my family
2. Rehearsal; You know how you rehearse before a presentation or try a your dress 2 days before the party, just to make sure that everything is working right? Well same thing goes with triggers. Once you’ve known what ticks you off, take the time to prepare yourself to “how” do you want to respond rather than react when that same them happens. Whether in a journal or a mental note or even a conversation with a coach, rehearsals are key for managing triggers
3. Post-hearsal; This is magical, especially when there’s guilt associated with the matter. I would simply go take note of (1) what happened, (2) Why did I do so? (3) Why am I upset I reacted this way? and (4) How would I like to react the next time?. What’s amazing about this, is how it enables me to understand myself better and recap the whole situation again in my head and point out to my calmer self whatever un-reasonable judgments or guilt my tense brain is trying to push in
4. Workarounds; When my daughter uses cups or dishes late at night after I have finished all the dishes, this triggers me a whole lot. So we worked out a system in our house, where she gets to wash whatever she uses after dinner and onwards. To me that was a great workaround for my trigger- it’s also a great way to cultivate sharing and empathy around our house
So these are my magical tips for working with triggers. What are yours? And how do they workout? Would love to hear about them.
Don't forget to visit and like our Facebook page; www.facebook.com/blossomfamilynvc
Marwa Advocates for freedom, peace, and building compassionate homes.