My hands are tense as I begin typing my first piece after such a long time. It has been over six months since I wrote my last piece, How the Child’s Brain Works. The last few months of 2014 were the hardest of my entire life; I was faced with the news of my mother having had a stroke. Going back home to look after her and eventually watching her die before my eyes was overwhelming. Nothing can describe how sad and painful that moment of separation was - it has taken over me and made me reflect upon everything my mother stood for, including who she was and how she was. I wondered why I conflicted so much with her and yet, when she left, I felt as if one of the anchors of my life had vanished- hence, the necessity of this piece.
My mother was never a peaceful parent. She was as mainstream as any middle-eastern mother would be: strict, opinionated, and authoritarian. She essentially needed it her way all the time. However, alongside these traits, she was a deeply loving and caring soul- not only to us (her family), but to others around her. As her daughter, I never had any doubt that she loved me or that I loved her too. I never doubted that she had my best interest in mind when reacting to or dealing with situations. I never agreed with her approach, but I never doubted her intentions.
This piece comes as a tribute to all of the mothers out there that I never target when writing my blogs; I’m sending a message of love without judgment. Although we may disagree about approach, I understand and believe that we are each doing the best we can according to our values. I now have proof that it doesn’t mean that one is better than another, but rather that we all have our own unique journeys in parenthood that we all must sail through, carrying all of our baggage with us.
Dear mum, and all mothers out there: you are deeply loved and appreciated for whatever choices you have made.
Marwa Advocates for freedom, peace, and building compassionate homes.